Thursday, June 16, 2005

Earplugs and other musings

Before I delve back into my history, I wanted to share a few thoughts with you.
Yesterday I bought earplugs. Not the permanent kind, that would cost too much money, but the cheap, temporary kind that you squish and roll until it fits into your ear.
I bought them because I haven't had a decent night's sleep since starting on this journey of homelessness. I bought them due to the snores, farts (there, I said it), talking, water-running and razor-tapping that I hear all night and keeps me from sleeping.
I had the best night's sleep in ages last night. The earplugs did their job so well that I kept wearing them during the day, because the noise gets even louder when the lights come on.
Now I don't hear the general bullshit that goes on. I've overheard stories that I do not wish to write about; stories about drug use, alcohol, whores/prostitutes and stealing. This kind of stuff doesn't interest me, and doesn't include me.
So with the earplugs in, I don't hear it. My mind can concentrate on itself. Here are a few of my musings:
I have a character in 'The Timmons Incident' called Amber. She's 8, cute and hyperactive. Her thoughts come in a steady stream, changing subjects in mid-sentence. Some classify that as ADD. Amber's real problem is that she vocalizes all her thoughts. She talks a non-stop flow of words and phrases that parallel her thoughts. She doesn't know how to keep her thoughts to herself. Now, in my story my character Dottie finds a way to probe Amber's mind and "cure" her She still thinks fast, but she doesn't vocalize her thoughts. Problem solved.
Ain't fiction great?
Now I bring this up because I have a similar problem. I don't vocalize my thoughts, quite the opposite, but my mind is turned on, every waking moment, and likely every sleeping one too.
I thank God that my mother didn't drag me to a doctor and let him put me on drugs. Sure, I get distracted easily, but put me on a task and leave me alone and the task will be completed. I cannot imagine myself not being able to use my imagination when I wanted.
My mother warned me not to become another 'Walter Mitty,' but after watching the movie with Danny Kaye (one of my all-time favorite actors), I'd rather be Walter than not. At least he was having fun in an otherwise dull world.
So, my mind jumps, much like Amber's and Walter's, from one topic to another, and I'm happy with that. And for those parents who are tempted to put their children on drugs to control them: DON'T. Give them some space. Let their minds wander. You never know what they might produce.
I must say, I've worn these earplugs all day and it has really opened my eyes, so to speak. It's such an enjoyable experience to not hear all the noise that I'm tempted to keep them in 24/7, learn sign language or to read lips and pretend I'm deaf.
It might open some doors employment-wise, but it would close others. It's hard to be a phone rep when you can't hear. Plus, I'm just not the type to lie like that, and I'd rather not offend those that are truly deaf. This was just another random musing.
I went shopping yesterday, with a little bit of money I received from a friend, and in addition to picking up the earplugs, I bought a new notebook. I had filled the last notebook with my stories and musings, and was desperate for something to write on. I thank my friend for his generosity, but I have now filled 3 pages in this notebook, plus margins, just with this muse, and now is the time to stop.